This quote really struck home for me. Over the past few years, I've made some pretty concerted efforts to get outside of my comfort zone and force myself to do things that I otherwise wouldn't. I guess my theory is that if you don't try, you never know what could happen...and I would honestly way rather try and suck than never try at all. Case in point...swimming lessons. I'm back in the pool again and this instructor is different than the one I took the first few sessions with. He's hilarious, and pushes us just a wee smidge but not too much. A few weeks ago, he announced we were going into the deep end of the swimming pool and I could honestly feel my tiny little landlubber heart shrivel up in fear. Holy crap, did he just say the deep end?! Dutifully - because I hate to disappoint people - I strapped on my water belt AND hot pink pool noodle and waded into the deep end, squelching the desire to complete lose my shit and start screaming, sobbing or some combination of both. Admittedly, I was terrified...absolutely and positively terrified, even though I knew I wouldn't drown...and I freaked out and got a bit panicky. As we ended our session and I headed back to the shallow end, I made a realization...I just swam in the deep end for the first time ever in my middle aged life! OK, I had a water belt and pool noodle but I did it. As I swam out, I felt a total rush that I had conquered a life long fear and I didn't die! I didn't die, people! The next week I went in with just the water belt and felt pretty comfortable, and then last week we went in with just the pool noodle...I felt a little bit scared still with just the noodle, but baby steps, right? And it's hilarious because I think the instructor knew I was pretty scared so each session he comes over and pre-warns me so I can psyche myself up. Ha!
Speaking of baby steps, even though I try to go outside of my comfort zone often, I'm not immune to being a big old chicken at times. Last week I was working out with my personal trainer (also hired because I want someone to push me to the point of being "manageably uncomfortable", as he likes to put it) and one of the goals I stated I wanted to accomplish was to be able to do a strict unassisted pull-up. We've been working on this since June, doing set after set of assisted pull-ups and negative pull-ups (which, if you've never done them, super duper suck and shred your arms to bits). So you all know what's coming, right? As I got up on the stool to start my negatives, Graham throws out casually that he thinks that I should be able to at least crank out one pull-up and hey, why don't I try? Now I had the same terrified feeling that I had in the pool...as I stood on the stool and battled the conflicting feelings of not wanting to disappoint Graham by not trying but then the overwhelming fear that if I tried and failed and disappointed him anyways, I must have had that deer-in-headlights look because he relented and said OK...he'd let me off the hook this time, but as soon as November hit we were doing it, no ifs and or buts, young lady. Afterwards I was a little mad at myself for being such an utter chickenshit, but mark my words...next time I post, I'll have attempted my first unassisted pull-up. Yep, I'm puttin' it out there, folks. Better to try and fail than never try at all because you never know, right?
1 comment:
Reading that quote, I thought immediately about your swimming. I didn't realise though that you were scared of the deep end. That makes what you're doing even more impressive. You're one brave lady!
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